ARE YOU ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS ?

Asking the Right Questions.

Here’s a simple tool for managing your internal dialogue. It’s particularly usefu,l since the stories we tell ourselves about our experience will either soothe us or distress us. Use this to hack your state and stay soothed.

The next time you’re experiencing any kind of emotional distress ask yourself the following question,

‘What’s happening here to make me feel this way?’

And then be quiet for a moment.

            It’s important that after asking the question you take a moment and be quiet inside because if you don’t, your mind will leap in with a story or an explanation that will keep you in a distressed state. If you pause a moment, the rational part of you will present the reason in non-inflammatory language.

            If your mind leaps in before you can pause and starts to explain things in ways that continues to make you feel distressed, return to the original question.

            (On no account ask yourself a question beginning with the word ‘WHY…?’ Questions that begin with the word ‘why’, asked in times of emotional distress, will increase your level of distress.)

Once you’ve experienced your mind giving you the answer in non-inflammatory language, ask the following question,

            ‘What can I do to make sure this doesn’t happen again?’

This is a very powerful question because it allows you to take responsibility for your experience and that is true empowerment. Once you’ve answered that question satisfactorily, ask yourself,

            ‘How would I like to feel about this now?’

And as soon as you have the answer, repeat it again and be still inside. Repeat the answer two or three times and each time be still after. You will find, in that moment of stillness, that you actually experience the emotional state you desire.

That’s it. This exercise is a great place to begin disciplining your mind. The mind is an unruly monkey and will always leap at the most emotionally intense option regardless of how that makes you feel. Tame it!

As always I welcome comments and questions in any form and if you don’t want do this publicly, e mail me at horsefriendrex@gmail.com - all e mails will be treated as confidential.

Thanks for looking.

Rex